Endless

A poem on death (for the homie Ben, whose dad just went to get a pack of smokes in the sky)

When i was young the night seemed endless

So black and haunted

My closet a god damn demon portal

I remember feeling the way one feels

When swimming in murky water

Enveloped by the night

And unable to see whatever it was

That was about to eat me

Now the night passes quickly

It rarely ever feels the least bit spooky

I have grown so accustomed to the cool moonlight and fluttering stars

They are the blanket I pull over my head to feel safe

I really lost my shit the first time someone i knew died

Its was some relative of ours who I’d maybe met one time

I was probably about 7 years old

I remember crying, looking into the darkness in my mind

My parents weren’t religious

So i just contemplated death

Many nights i wondered about death and feared it would take someone close to me

Many people who i have known and loved have died

I have held and said goodbye to their cold lifeless bodies

Its always the worst thing that ever happens

Its worse when its unexpected

But its not un-bearable

It may hollow me out for a while

But eventually

They just seem distant

Not gone

And its comforting in the dark

Only love seems endless now

Tragic, beautiful, possibly a bit cruel

But endless